Please check this for me... i enter this writing short story competition.... if there's something wrong with this story...can you help me???i really want to win it...and this is my own story..from my own mind....give your support...
SWEET REVENGE
Today my seventeenth birthday is horrible; my family is moving to La
Jolla, California because of my father’s promotion. I was so depressed about
leaving my life and had to start a new one. It was just so perfect until we
have to move. At the La Jolla, my father already bought an old mansion. The
house is too big for three and I think this could be very interested because I
can finally get to choose two rooms for myself. This mansion was so creepy in
my looking. The next day, I made a decision to go to school. I thought that I
could go there with my mom, but she left me a note that she had to leave
earlier, so, that means I have to walk to the school by myself. On my way, I
saw a boy in a hurry.
Then, I try to catch him to ask him where the school is. I poke him on his
shoulder to ask. Then, he slowly looks at me and begins to talk. “Oh, I’m sorry.
Can I help you?” Whoa! I admit this guy is rugged and handsome but his face is
familiar to someone else I knew, but I just can’t figure who it was. “I’m
sorry. I just wanted to ask you that do you know about high school around here.”
“Sure, there just only one high school here, I guess. What? Are you new?” He
makes a curious face. “Yeah…” “Welcome to La Jolla…You can follow me to the
school. I’m a senior”. I am so surprise and I suddenly shouted happily. “We’re
the same!” I covered my mouth shyly. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to raise my
voice.” I said awkwardly. “It’s okay. You’re nervous, right?” “Yeah…” I was so
shy because of my stupidity. “Is that the school’s signboard?” I’m pointing at
the signboard. “Oh yeah…it is” “That’s a big one, huh?” “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Kyle
Henderson. You can call me Kyle.” “That’s a common name.” “So, what’s your
name?” “Amy…” “No, your full name…” “Amy Lillian Taylor…” I said my name
curiously. “I like your name…What can I call you? Lillian?” “Well, I don’t know
about that because not everyone calls me on that name, but you can call me
anything you like, Kyle.” I smiled. “I will call you on your first name; Amy,
because your name is wonderful.” I smiled, “Thank you…” Then, we’re walking
together but he is staring at me. “What?” “I’m not saying anything.” “Why are
you staring at me like that?” “That’s because you are so beautiful” I surprise.
“No, you’re not meant like that to me, right. You’re just playing with your
mind.” I said awkwardly. “I’m not playing with my mind. It’s real! I enjoy
looking at beautiful people like you but your face is familiar to someone else
I knew but I can’t remember the girl.” I stop walking. “I thought you were in
hurry just now.” I said like that because I want this guy to stop talking about
me like that “Yes, I am. I thought I want to go early to school today. But
then, what a surprise a new girl is hanging out with me. So, that makes me late.”
“What? Unbelievable! I’m just following you just like you ask me to.” “Hey! It’s
nothing… I’m just joking, all right. You know what? You are the bravest person
I’ve ever met.” “Why? I just met you and then you already judge me?” “Yeah,
that’s because you are friendly. See, you already got a friend on your first
day. What if you get more today? Let play have you met, Amy, okay?” Oh
goodness, this guy makes me crazy. But, he seems so familiar to me. “Is this
our school?” “Welcome to the school” “Thanks.” The school looks nice from
outside. “I’ll let you go on yourself from now, okay? The office is right over
there.” He is pointing at the office to show me the way. “See you soon, Amy.
Soon, I will play ‘have you met, Amy?’” I smiled. This guy must be watching
‘How I met your mother?’ the funniest TV show in my life. After I get all
registries, it’s time for me to get in the class. I can see, Kyle in the other
class. He waves at me when I’m passing his class. I got the first class and he
got the second one. I introduce myself to everyone in the class. On recess, I
cannot see Kyle anywhere. There three girls from my class come near to me.
“Hey, that is our place. You better move your butt to the other side.” Then,
two other girls come nearer me. “Just leave her alone, she’s got here, first”
“Fine, I’ll deal with you later. Come on girls.” “I’m sorry, that troops is
sucks. I’m Molly and this is Kathy”. I smirk. “You can call me Amy.” “So, what
did you got in your old town?” “It’s complicated because I think it’s all the
same thing except for…” “What?” Both of them really want to know them but for
suddenly a boy from my class called both of my new friends. “Hey! Moll! Kath! The
troops have done something to your locker! Come quickly!” They both run towards
the locker as I am. There are many people crowd there. But when they both open
their locker some paint blast out from each of their locker. It has a note too,
that said ‘You better watch your big mouth!’ I know it must me the three girls.
I’m freaking out and take them to the restroom. “Here, I’m sorry what happen to
you guys. This is what all I got.” I gave them my spare clothes. “Thank you,
Amy. You have been kind to us”. “It’s okay. Just ignore those girls, okay?” Then,
we continue our class.
On my way back home, I want to wait Kyle but I cannot see him around.
So, I suggested walking on myself way back home. Then, mom surprises me. She
has given me a heart attack. Lucky it’s not the real one. She is laughing at
me. “You should look at your face when you’re surprise. It is so funny!” She doesn’t
stop pranking me yet. For suddenly, I make my voice into something “Mom!
Help…Please…” She started to worry about me. “What’s got into you?” she’s
worrying and full of curiosity. “Heart Attack” “I’m so sorry dear. I didn’t
know.” She’s start to cry. Then, I surprised her “Boo!” She trip onto the sofa.
“That’s why you cannot make a prank on me.” “You’re good on this” “Yeah, I’m
sorry to surprise you.” “It’s nothing. By the way, I’m the one who started it
first. So, that’s a sorry. Well, it’s kind of funny and childish. Why don’t you
help me with this unpacking stuff?” “I’d love to.” That is a first day on La Jolla,
but my mind has been asking where Kyle was this morning. But, until the next
day, Kyle and I start to be the best friend. We always get along together. But,
I knew he’s keeping something from me and not mention any of it. I hope I’m not
making any mistake.
This is the fourth day, mom sends me to school today. She told me to
walk to go back home. This year, dad will be working until it goes dark. I
don’t think he is not so busy at work because he will be in the cafeteria about
half of the day. On recess, I can see Kyle with his friends. There is one
person from my class, Peter. He doesn’t even have a friend. I’m curious about
him. Every times I look at him; he will get his mad face onto me. When,
everyone has gone to home. There am only me at school, I guess. I have been
working in the library for hours. I go to my locker. Suddenly, someone grab me
from behind. It’s Peter. I thought there is no one at school but that was a
mistake. He is whispering to me. “You
think you are so special with Kyle? Well I don’t think so.” “What is your
problem?!” I push him. “Oh, I thought you remember what you have done in the
past. You might remember if you look at my face.” I’m scared. Then, he shouts
at me. “Look at my face!” he blows me out. I know I will not leaving this
situation without a puddle of tears. But then, I can see someone’s coming to
me. “Hey! Leave her alone!” It was Kyle. He comes to save me from this stupid
event. Then, Peter says something to him. “She’s weak than I thought.” He
stares at me, “I’m not done with you yet.” Then, he leaves. Kyle helps me and
takes me to his house. He takes care of me, and then asks me so many stupid
questions about Peter. He tells me to stay at his house but I insist. He was a
gentleman. Then, he sends me home by his motorcycle. It was a wonderful moment.
Thank you, Kyle.
One of my cheeks is still in bruise color. So, I cover it with some
makeup. Today, I’m wearing like a boy. I’m wearing a cap in my head, a light
sweater, a jean and a pair of sneakers. But today, I cannot see where Peter is.
If I see him, I will walk away like Kyle told me so. But then, he was just in
front of me and takes my head and slams it on the floor. Everyone can see that.
My head is bleeding and spinning like a top. He says “This might help you to
remember what had happened”, and then he leaves and I faint. Before that, I can
see Kyle leaves me. I know he disappointed with me. After hours, I awake. I’m
in my room and my friends were there. They say that I look awful. When I think
of Peter, I can remember what had happened between Peter and i at last. I
remember that I had bullied him for years and then, he said to stop. So I
stopped and we have promised to each that we would be the best friendship ever.
But then, comes a boy but I couldn’t remember his name. So, we have a couple
rings; me and that boy. So, he was jealous and I guess this is revenge. But
this is too harsh and evil. My parents don’t even worry about me because they
had promised to stay out of my sight on my own problem.
Today is Wednesday, the fourth day, I am looking for Kyle. But he is not
in the school today so as Peter. What are the two boys up to? They must have a
relation to each other. When I am weak, Kyle would step away so did Peter. My
mind is changing to the Sherlock Holmes’s mind. I walk home, after school as
usual. On my way back, I try to cross the road but suddenly a bike is nearer to
hit me. It’s Kyle. “What is the matter with you?” I tried to walk away from
him. “First you left me in the fight but then, you want to kill me with your
bike. So, what’s your next plan? Are you going to let me die and not to be
remember?” He came so close to me then he says, “Hop on!” “What? Now you want
me to follow you?” “Just stop babbling and come with me! I want to show you
something” “Okay…Make sure it’s valuable…” I whisper to him. He smirks. Before
I make myself comfortable he starts to drive. I am shocked because I’m not even
ready and he drives it too fast. While I’m trying to remove my hair inside my
mouth I shout at him. “Are you even a human?! I’m not even ready yet!” He
shouts at me. “Hold on tight! I’m going fast!” I’m so surprised and being
awkward where I can put my hand. Then, I put my hand on his hip, and I could
feel he is in ticklish. I’m sorry; I didn’t know you’re a sensitive to tickling.
After a moment Kyle is slowing down his bike. “Where are we? Is it too important
for you to tell me” Kyle just keeps himself silent. The place was dark and
there are many dead trees by the side road. There is a black bird following us. It is just a Raven.
I was so afraid. Then, we stop. “What are we doing here? I am so afraid.” There
is an old, small house in red blood color. We go inside the house. There are a
lot of papers on the desk and a television, a laptop and an old couch. “This is
my past time. I stay here when I’m alone.” Kyle said and I can see he holds a
ring. “Are your parents known about this?” “No, they mustn’t know about this.
Do you know what this is?” He shows me the ring. “There is a girl, I couldn’t
remember her name and how she looks like. She gives me this ring. It was a
couple rings. We used to be the greatest couple ever until I got here. She is
the one I set in my future.” “So, we will never be in relation, right?” “No,
but I got a feeling on you.” “That’s ridiculous. Can I take a look of the
ring?” “Sure.” He gives me the ring and then he relaxes himself on his couch.
“Please, make yourself cozy.” Then, I sit beside him and try to get my ring from
my pocket. It is the same ring. If I want to know if it was the match, I take
the ring together on its line. “What are you doing?” “Well, I want to know if
my ring were match with yours because mine is the same.” Then, the ring stuck
together. We surprised. “Whoa! Where did you get that ring of yours?” “I was
the same like you. There was a boy give it to me but the boy went away.” Both
of us surprise. “Are you the one?!” We ask the same thing at the same time. I
ask Kyle. “Are you that boy?” “I don’t know? I am not sure.” But then, at the
same timing, Peter stands in front of us. “What a nice event. The boy and the
girl have met at last. You will regret this Amy! And as for you; the boy who
left his girl behind, you have to make this better than the old one. Did you
remember about us, Amy?” Kyle surprised. “Is he telling that you have relation
with him?” I surprised. “No Kyle! Don’t listen to him and you devil Peter; just
zip your blasted mouth. You think I am becoming weak. I can still be a bully if
you do this to me. I’ll do ten times worse than the old one. If you do this to
me again, I’ll hunt you down until I found you and I will break those bones of
yours one by one. Get it?! I’m sorry, Kyle. I didn’t mean to do this to you.”
Peter starts to interrupt our conversation “Aren’t you too evil to me?” “No! I
mean it! Please…you don’t have to be like this Peter, I. I am really sorry for
everything that I’ve done to you.” Peter is thinking about it. “Please… You
don’t have to be like this or you going to be suspended from the school, or
having any friends” “Yeah you right! You got a good point too. If I don’t
forgive you, my life won’t be in peace because I have to hold this grudge
forever. Oh Amy, what a big mistakes I’ve done to you… I’m so sorry for
everything that I’ve done to you too. I have been knocking you around so
seriously. I hope you forgive me.” He starts to knock himself on the wall. I go
to him and said “Hey! It’s okay…I’ll forgive you. Besides, I’m the one who
started this first. Can we be friends once again?” “Sure…thank you for your good
persuasion. I didn’t even think that far.” Then, Kyle starts to talk. “So, are
we friends?” “Yeah, buddy. You should take this girl to be your couple.” Kyle
laughs out loud. Then, he said “You could be an axe murderer!” Then, we all laugh
happily. “Hey why don’t I’ll treat you guys with a bowl of soup noodles?” Peter whispering, “I think
we need more for three starving tummies.” Then we all laugh. Poor Kyle didn’t
know what had really happened to us but, I still tell him. From that day
forward, we became the best friends ever and this lovely couple has been
together again. Three of us also start to decorate the old house of Kyle’s to
make it more beautiful for our new house club. This is what I really want in my
life. Our rings will be staying in touched forever. Thanks to Peter and me.
This is the best friendship ever. I have taken all the bad things that I said
to Peter back. Kyle Henderson is my star cross lover. Peter also has a new
girlfriend. She’s new in school. Peter has change from his mad and creepy face
into a blooming smiley face. I have learnt so many things from this revenge. We
are lucky to be friends again because there are a lot of people who hold their
own grudge. So that is why I called this a sweet revenge because this is
totally sweet! Thank you world! Before I end this, I admit to Peter it was
really hurt when he knocked my head on the other day. He apologized to me. For
real, it was really hurt.